By Darlene Coleman
It’s the weekend, and I’m driving down the road, listening to the radio as Tina Turner belts out “What’s love got to do with it.” As I sing along, I realize that we are coming into February, the month of love. The month of roses and chocolates, and candlelit dinners. The month where some brave souls will drop to one knee and profess their undying devotion to another, all in the name of love. There are literally thousands of songs, books, and movies written about it. There are numerous dating sites where one can log on in hopes of attaining it. There are workshops and retreats and even magic spells all designed to help us find the one thing everyone is searching for…love.
With so much access to love, it’s a wonder that anyone could even go a minute without experiencing it, and yet for many, it remains elusive.
Since the beginning of time, people have had the need to feel connected. A longing for someone or something to reflect back to us, our worthiness, our desirability, someone to tell us we are okay. It only makes sense then that love must be innate within us all.
So, let’s take a closer look at it.
Initially, there is the kind of love that a parent may have for a child or a child for their parent. This type of love is typically what’s considered unconditional, even though many times still remains so. How many of us agree to things unwanted to please the parent or child? From early on we learn not to upset the apple cart if we want to get along and receive love.
Also, there is the love we may feel for our furry friends. This type of love is even more unconditional and many times its easier to love our pets than our partners. For instance, we can easily forgive a pet for peeing on our new rug, but if our partner pees on the carpet of our heart, are we as willing to accept it?
Then, of course, there is romantic love, the kind of love that makes our hearts skip a beat. The sort of sentimentality and emotion that causes Kings to abdicate their thrones. That feeling that causes one to give up virtually everything to have that one person they can possess and claim as their own. The first time I felt this kind of love, I was in the second grade, his name was Benny. He approached me at recess and professed his undying love for me, in response I let him take my turn on the merry-go-round. Sadly after just 2 days, it was over. Benny had fallen in love with someone else, and I was left with a broken heart, the first of many I’m afraid, but was that really love?
Yes, it was one form of it. While it was simple and innocent, it was the beginnings of that type of heart opening. After all, love must start somewhere, and unless you are born a mystic or Saint, love begins in the lower Chakras, those energy systems designed for procreation. This type of love is the kind that with the right partner, not only makes you feel all warm and fuzzy but will push our buttons of insecurity and ego and at times drive us crazy. It is the kind of love that is mostly conditional, and challenges and calls us towards something greater than ourselves. But what exactly?
As we struggle with the dynamics of personal relationships, we are actually being taught things such as tolerance, forgiveness, harmony, and self-awareness. Even the worst relationships are a gift if we can allow ourselves to learn from them.
But there is something else. Something bigger, something more meaningful.
What if instead of falling in love we were able to rise to it?
Imagine what the world would be like if we were able to recognize that love isn’t just a month, or flowers and chocolates, or possessing another, but is more a state of being, a level of consciousness. A goal we can aspire to, and with intention and practice, possibly one day achieve.
Love is all of the above. It is around us, everywhere all of the time. It is here and now. Love is in the Sun that rises each day to shine down upon the earth that provides us food and nourishment. It is in the smile from a passing stranger. It is in helping someone to cross the street or holding the door open. It is in the acceptance and tolerance of others, even if they are different than us. It is in the acceptance of yourself. Love is in the everyday mundane acts of life, and life itself is love. It flourishes in the soil of kindness and compassion. Love is you, and you are it. Plant the seeds of love wherever you find yourself, and cultivate it if you want to reap an abundant harvest. It isn’t always easy, but it is what we are here to learn.
So, what’s love got to do with it?
Darlene Coleman, Certified Life Coach and Hypnotherapist specializing in modalities designed to identify and remove emotional blocks while implementing a plan for success. She is available for individual appointments at Four Pillars located at 8209 Natures Way, Suite 221, Lakewood Ranch. For more information, call 941-373-3955, email Info@FourPillasFlorida.com or visit FourPillarsFlorida.com.